I had a verbal confrontation with a friend of mine. It was noting detrimental, but we definitely had some candid words for each other. I think we all have a friend who can be a little off the chain from time to time. He was telling me something and I said “you have lies”. In laymen terms it meant you are doing way too much. We say that from time to time, but this time I guess there was a little too much seriousness to my voice and boy did he lay into me. “Just because you are too afraid to live your life, don’t come for me because I’m living mine.” I’m shocked that my friend just came at me like that. He goes on to say “you try to keep up this good boy imagine, but its unreal. At the age of 24 (he’s older than me) you haven’t even lived your life. You have no story to tell. You’ve never had sex; you never had a real relationship with anyone. I don’t know why we talk to you like you have life answers.” At this point, I’m over my shock and fully loaded with a counter attack, because some of those words stung. “First, you called me so don’t come at me with all of this drama. Second, I may not have done a lot, but that’s how I avoid a lot of the crap you go through and if that’s what you call living you can keep that. I don’t want a boyfriend and girlfriend at the same time. I refuse to be some else’s casual sex partner while they go back to the person they’re in a relationship with. Obviously, we have two different ideals of what living life is all about. You called me out of all of the other friends you have, because I’m the only one who can call you on your crap and give you some sound advice. Plus, I’m the only one who is mature enough to take what you just dished out and love you the same. He jokes “oh shut up, you still haven’t had sex yet.” I laugh a little.
After the laughter there was an apology from him and mine followed. However, it was made clear, both of us meant what we said, but didn’t mean for it to be as vicious as it was. I absolutely hate for people to be all bold about their actions or words and then try to down play them after they perform the act or say the words. He still feels like I don’t live, because I’m too afraid of consequences and too prideful to live with a mistake. I still feel like he needs to slow down and that he is definitely performing all of these risky behaviors, because he refuses to deal with some internal issue. We both kinda agreed with the feedback regarding us, but we realize we have to do things our way and our time
5 comments:
Those were some harsh words, but sometimes when friends point out each others flaws it can sting, but really good friends will laugh about it later and move on.
I know there are days when I feel that as a 28 year old, Am I really living my life and doing the things that make me happy as well?
It's hard to want to do a lot of those things and stay drama free at the same time.
A sign of true friendship is harsh criticism. I'd keep this kid around. Too many people have 'yes men' in their crew who won't tell it like it is.
Amen Mr. Jones!
I absolutely agree @ Mr. Jones! "Yes men" in their crew and "Yes men" in thier beds... Food for thought. You do the dishes!
~Damnit!
it's great that you two could squash the beef quickly. sometimes we hold on to words forever and allow them to poison what was golden about someone. he must admire the example you've set with your life to come to you for help. that is being a good friend, on both your parts.
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