I have a knack for removing myself emotionally while still being present in the physical. It’s a coping method that I learned as a child. My mother taught me how to perfect this skill. She was definitely not an emotional person and as a child I was emotional. She absolutely hated that. To her that meant you were weak and no child of hers was going to be a “punk”. I definitely toughen up and as I grew older my skin grew thicker. It can be quite handy, but it can also cause problem, because people think you’re stolid. I’ve been accused of lacking emotion from time to time. I completely disagree with this accusation, but I’m definitely too logical to sensationalize a situation and freak out (it’s so unbecoming).
Now, I have a little problem. I’m not extremely attached to anyone. I think it’s my way of not allowing myself to be hurt or made a fool out of. You guys saw Jill’s character fall apart in “Why Did I Get Married?”. No Sir, not the kid! When I saw her broken up in the hotel I said “see that’s exactly what I’m talking about, I can’t do it”. My roomie goes “umph”, which spoke volumes. It can be a hindrance in my relationships, but it can also hurt me. It gives me this “me against the world” complex. I definitely have some extremely close friends and we share a great deal of our lives with each other, but even they say I can give off an aura of “I love you, but you are disposal”, which is never my intention. I’m just comfortable with doing things alone and I must admit, I definitely only count on me. Not because I don’t believe in people or trust them, but they have circumstances and situation themselves. On rare occasions it can make you feel alone, but most of the time you feel extremely confident and comfortable. I’m not sure what to do about this complex.
Me, Myself, and I
5 comments:
I don't think it's a complex. It may have started off as that (you know, sort of positive/negative reinforcement on your mom's part). But, as long as you have (at least) on person who truly has your back, f*ck what anyone else thinks. Many of us are good for labeling others when it's not necessary.
I soooo want to see "Why Did I Get Married."
Sometimes I wish I had your attitude, but then I think I weigh the pluses and minues of being with someone else vs being alone and decide the relationship is more important than my hurt feelings.
I guess you'll change if it's truly an issue for YOU; otherwise, I suspect the change would be pointless. Hey, if the detached approach works for YOU, then who cares what other folks think? Personally, everyone almost feels like I'm the most social, outgoing person when in actuality I can sometimes feel overwhelmed by the perceived intimacy. All said, I like that I give folks the feeling that I'm virtually their best friend...I feel the benefits outweight the drawbacks. Before you go fixing something make sure it's broken.
take it from me young brother, i came from where you're at and it does present problems down the road. everyone wants to feel needed (especially significant others), and a stronger emotional attachment to close friends and loved ones opens up doors to them you never even knew were there.
personally, i say see a therapist or read up on emotional dis attachment. you don't have to be all willy nilly over the place, but sometimes being affected is a much better thing than not.
You wrote this about me right? No seriously, this is my life. I'm that guy that gives off that vibe of people being disposable, which i know isn't true, but I'm also comfortable enough in me to not feel the need to change. If u are fine with the way you are, and if you are meant to change you will.
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