Update

Playing~Get up"- Mary Mary

This has been a very social weekend!

• Slick has been in and out of a funk for the pass two weeks and it's killing me. He felt a juke in his bones Friday, so we decided to head to the club.
• Bad move! He enjoyed himself, but he was trippin' about his lack of dance partners. He isn't getting play, so he is really questioning himself.
  
• I was not in the mood to go out, so he was afraid I wouldn't dance. I turned the freakin' club out. My alter-ego decided to come out and play. He hasn't shown up in some time. I definitely represented for my home state (we invited booty music, you can't out do me.). This dude was trying to take me home and poke me. You no poka me, me a poka you. My dancing is quite misleading in most cases.
• To make matters worse, after the club we went to this guy's house. Slick is casually talking to this dude and he's trying to flirt with both of us. When I tell you a HELL NAWL rose up in Slick's spirit I was shocked. He wasn't mad at me, but he couldn't believe the dude kept coming for me even when I was clearly encouraging them to get together.
• I've sent him uplifting/funny personalize text message and encouraged him verbally, but he wants to be salty. I'm convinced that he enjoys the gloom. He does it too often. He needs to take a que from MJB ("work that") and chill out.
• I purchased Ms. Black this weekend. My friends have all given their Berries great reviews. I was up for a renewal and I wanted a phone that would last me for awhile, so I picked up Ms. Berry. She is giving me what I need.
• My place is still not together. I had a whole week to get my stuff together and it seems like I've been spinning my wheels. I lost so much space, so I've been given clothes away to make my stuff fit in my closet and two dressers.
  
• I met Mr. "Corey". He graciously invited me to a birthday party for one of his friends. I was a little nervous because I came by myself, I had no ideal what to wear (birthday party at a club...hhmmm) and Corey refused to respond to my text.
  
• I'm going to get him for putting me on blast about this blog.
  
• Corey will sneak you, so don't sleep on him. Parker is cute too.
  
• I felt slightly over dressed (button down with jeans), but I didn't look out of place. Corey helped me mingling with people and it worked out. I was a little cautious, because you know the kids are vicious. They will give you the side eye real quick. However, those people weren't entertained. I really enjoyed them being left in a corner to talk about people by themselves. Mfers get a hobby!
  
• The Crowd was diverse. You had guys who were dressed like kid & play and very professional career oriented people. You couldn't lose if you came to meet and greet...lol.
• Speaking of fine, about 60% of the attendees were HOT! One guy was so fine I took a moment of silence to reverence God and his parents, but something about him screamed tacky.
• The birthday boy was so humble. You would have never known it was his birthday. He was just adorable. He's cute too
  
• One guy who I mingled with talked me into drinking. I thought what the heck, I might as well. I drunk this big drink like I was a pro and it gave me the buzz of my life. He wanted me to keep drinking I was like oh no! One more would have made me a hot mess! I almost got the courage to tell him. Your print is showing through your jeans...BIG TIME!
  
• Children stop brining your fag-hags to everything you are invited to. I know you love her and she thinks she has a penis, but she doesn't! There is a difference between a woman who befriends a gay male and a fag hag. I don't like fag hags!
• Sunday, I went to church with fear of the Lord in my heart. I was praying that the church didn't blow up when I walked in. Boy, was I in for a treat. The pastor preached his socks off. I complete forgot about how HOT my neighbor was. Slick had to have a moment with the Lord about his thoughts towards this man. I refrained from Communion, but I was blessed by his words. I'm still happy now!
• God is so faithful! I have been being contray, but feeling his presence lets me know he is still there.
• Hopefully, this makes sense....update me
  

Update

Playing~"The 1"-Janet Jackson

I've moved from the amusement park. I missed the space already, but I'm happy to have left the most deplorable management staff. A ran into a few maintenance issues with my new places, but they are being fixed as I type. Comcast is coming to fix the mess they left. Okay, let's get to the stuff you guys came to read about (Pride, BIG, and my family visiting).

Pride was uneventful for me. I went to one club (trademark). I was underwhelmed by this experience. A lot of people, but nothing to make note of. I've had much more fun with just the atliens being in the building. I didn't tell you guys about this experience I had about a month ago. It was real hot, but I swear that negro was rollin' (on x). speaking of, people will shock you. I found out that an associate and a friend of my roll. Well, my friend decided to try it because his friend got some in the club. I was like WTF?!

He has finally been given a name...BIG. We went on a date on Friday Night. He just kept staring at me, which was kinda cute. He didn't want the date to end. However, I had friends to meet, so I was trying to keep it moving. We reconnected on Sunday. I finally saw Dark Knight. It was good, but people really hyped it up. During the movie I discovered what his name should be...lol. I was on my best behavior, but he wasn't trying to coporate. He wanted to leave the movie. I was like "ahh...no!" Anyway, we did end up back at his place, because he wanted to "talk". We didn't talk for too long. For the presumptious ones, I didn't give it up. Well, there was no penetration. Actually, I didn't have to do much at all. I was more of a buffet. I felt some kinda way about going that far (it's only been 3 weeks). I've never went that far with a dude before. I felt some of it was out of obligation. Trying to show affection and progression, but I didn't intend for it to go that far. I'm trying to make sure I don't project that on him, because I'm an adult. I'm also trying to muddle through my issues, his issues, and our issues. He is quite demanding of my time, energy, body, etc. I don't like that! Don't try to take me further than I'm ready to go. Tuesday, we reconnected.

My family came helped me move, cooked, and kept me busy. I love my family. They are so more upfront than me. I've soften over the years. I ditched them Friday for BIG and Trademark. Saturday we moved and I had to take to get some money, so she could shop (her poor boyfriend). I took her to Lenox on Saturday and she was overwhelmed. "Where the real niggas at?!" I had to explain to her what was going on in the city. She still took awhile to adjust. She also had questions about Slick. I said "ask him and why is it important to you"? My mother was in her typical mode (supervisor). She is seeing more of a different side of me, which caued her to throw the side eye at me. We didn't have a chance to discuss my sexuality. She did make it clear she wanted grandkids and stuff.

Anyway, that sums up everything...how did your weekend pan out?

This weekend

Interesting is not the word to describe this weekend. I'm in the process of moving. I have family coming. HE is coming. I have to entertain my family, friends, and him. Plus, I have to move and you know I have to get a few two steps in this weekend. Do you guys remember when this happen last year...lol (it produce two post both were funny). I was pretty sure my mother and I was going to have the talk this weekend. I wasn't expecting to come out to my cousin too. I think taking her to a gay club with be the best way...lol. j/k! I think it would be a quick fix though, because I have to slide in someone's party before the weekend is over. She loves to party, so I doubt if I will be able to leave her. I tested Corey's pride agenda last night . He was dead on the money I rode pass Bulldogs at 3 am and it was out of control.

Slick is determine not to go out. He doesn't want to be "exposed" or spend his money. The exposure part is funny, because he is a lady. Everyone knows already! He almost lost his strength when we rode pass Bulldogs after leaving Ihop. He start chanting "I'm not going out". BOY STOP! Instead he is going to live vicariously through me. He trying to pick out clothes and everything. He is about to lose his mind trying to learn this wobble dance. I plan on being completely carefree this weekend. I'm not worried about managing anyone or any corporate crap. I'm going to act a fool at some point.

Darian's DL Chronicles Discussion

Playing~"Happy Being Me"-Angie Stone

I had the pleasure of attending Darian's Discussion on Saturday. Before I talk about the discussion and how enjoyable it was I want to talk about Darian. I'm no authority on anything Darian, but I do know a genuine person when I meet one. I've only spoke with him twice via e-mail and all of one minute in person, but in those few interactions I could tell two things. One, he will get you together if you come incorrectly. Two, he is very passionate about the community and what his ideals, thoughts, voice can do for it. Nowadays with everyone claiming to be an activist the line of activist and someone who wants to be famous is blurred. There is no reconditeness when it comes to Darian. He is an activist. I think he understands to be heard by the masses you need popularity, but popularity is not what he is looking for. I appreciate that!

Once again, I've experienced a first. This was my first time gathering with SGL Men outside of a club setting (I've only been to two clubs), which was exciting, but I was anxious. Slick was suppose to be at my house, but he over slept and I refused to sacrifice this event for him. He was waking up as I was heading to my house to change out of my work clothes. I was in a dilemma. Should I wait for Slick and get there like 8:30-8:45 or get there without a buffer and enjoy the whole event. I decided to go alone and let him join me later (he never made it). I completely missed the social part of the event ( I figured that), but I made it with time to spare for the screening and the discussion, which was the important part. The irony of this event was my attendance to an event about men on the DL and a mini-series surrounding the topic. I was surrounded by individuals who appeared to be so open about their sexuality and I'm just getting started on my journey. For the pass year, I've been an enigma of sorts. My lack of confirmation or denial keeps my workplace whispering. However, I've never been on the DL. I've never had anything to be on the low about. I really don't have much of a story when it comes to male on male interaction. Okay, back to the discussion. After watching two episodes the panel took over. j. brotherlove was the moderator (there is something about him that makes him fly) and the panel consisted of James Earl Hardy (B Boy Blues), Tim’m West (rapper, activist, spoken word artist), Eric Ware (The Down Low Diaries), Anthony McWilliams (Atlanta Activist), and Anare Holmes (In The Life Atlanta, Clik Magazine). They touched on several things that were noteworthy, but two things left me with something to think about (I'm going to paraphrase to the best of my ability):

As gay men we have learned to lie so much we have to learn how to tell the truth. Anthony McWilliams (he spoke volumes with that one)

So many people are talking about how hard it is to find a man in Atlanta, because everyone sleeps around, but the ones who are complaining aren't even out. Tim'm West (He turned the mirror on me with that one)

Another big part of the discussion was how we don't support artist who represent us and are great at what they do. Also, how we need to define ourselves and stop looking for heterosexual people to define who and what we are. I was having the discussion with a friend almost a year ago. He was like I don't want people to know because of stereotypes. I was like they exist because people like you and I aren't visible. They also talked about the fearing of losing something when it comes to coming out, which is another thing I talked about indirectly here. It was affirming to attend this event. The DL Chronicles is a great DVD and Darian did a great job by getting a diverse group of individuals together.

Playing~"She's not you"-Raheem Davaughn

Atlanta

Playing~"All I"-Jill Scott (I'm itching for this album at this point)

I've been here for a year and a month. I don't regret this move at all. I think I've changed in some ways, but for the most part I'm the same ol' Life. I definitely take a few more chances here than I think I would have taken back home. For the most part, I've been pretty successful. I've been promoted a few times. I've been able to sustain myself financially and others (in some cases), so it's been a prosperous time overall. My two biggest challenges have been finding some friends up here and getting connected to the city.

Meeting people here is a challenge. I'm accustom to a setting (i.e. college). I'm personable, but I'm definitely not very quick to befriend people. We all know those people who get too comfortable with you way too quickly. I don't want to be that guy, so I prefer to give you not enough than too much. I usually meet people through some type of work I do (i.e. church, club, organization). I'm not connected to any of those things up here. Everyone knows I'm a solo artist, but when I'm out having fun sometimes I need someone to converse with. You know, "oh look over there, no not him, him." someone to cut a two step with when your jam come on. Feeling this way inspired my previous post, but it's all good. I don't have a sad story. I still go out from time to time. One of my best friends & current roomie is here, so he gives me some connection. We are quite different from each other, which can be interesting from time to time, but over all we definitely identify with each other on some critical points in life and most importantly, I know he has my back no matter what. We all know that's hard to find these days, so if you do work through whatever else.

One thing I can say about Atlanta is there is always something going on. You might not know about it, but there is something going on. I love it, but I rarely enjoy it. I work in a seven day a week business and the job doesn't stop at 5, so I miss a lot of events due to work. Plus, sometimes I'm just beat down physically or emotionally from work and other times I just want to be alone. On top of that, I'm not connected to anything in particular, so sometimes I just completely miss the event all together. I'm not sure how to fix this problem outside of get another job and really get some friends who like to go out. I've met a potential friend, but I think he might be a little mess, so I'm passing.

Anyway, what challenges are you guys facing in your current city? I HOPE YOU HAVE YOUR BLACK ON!

It's been over a year!

Well, I'll be darn! I've been living in Atlanta for a whole year. This was my first time leaving my family and all things familiar. I wanted to be here and I made it happen. I'm proud of that fact. Since I've been here I think I've evolved. A lot of people noticed a difference in me and I noticed it as well. No matter how I try to deny it. I've always came across knowledgeable, mature, and practical when I spoke and hung out with people (despite this blog being frivolous from time to time). I think that's why most of my good friends are older than me. However, I must admit I am a little less experience in something than most people my age. I think this past year I chipped away at some of the inexperience. In many ways I'm still the same guy. The church boy part of me is still evident, but it's not as dominate as it once was. I'm still a little too cautious and calculated. I can't help it. Maybe it's an only child thing...hhhmmm.

I enjoy the city. This city has a lot of events all of the time. The job market kinda sucks! What's up with that? Maybe there is an over saturation of educated people here???? The city for the most part is governed well. The traffic is crazy. The people are nice and friendly generally speaking. Atlanta cost of living is pretty good. Overall I'm satisfied with Atlanta

Got darn Atlanta

I went out to a club for the first time last week. Well, it was a concert at a club. I thought I would avoid drama by doing so, because I've heard of the drama that takes place in the club. In spite of all of my good work. I still ran into drama. During the last performance of the night. This lady decided she wanted to be at the very front of the stage. She forces her way through the crowd and everyone is like what's her problem. Well, an associate of mine wasn't having it. They get into it I don't get involve, because it's not worth it. Then, I see the lady mouth "touch me again I'm going to beat your a**". Then, her short boyfriend is in my associates face. I'm like oh darn. I go to bring reason to the whole ordeal. Clearly, this hood chick doesn't want a resolution and her boyfriend is going to back her up regardless. As I'm trying to calm things down I quickly check things out, because I see it's about to go down regardless. One, he has a bottled turned upside down and a beer in the other. The associate of mine didn't even notice he was so busy arguing. I'm really trying to calm things down now, because he has a weapon. I finally got things under control, but this hood chick wouldn't let it go. I try to get the bouncer involve they tell me the police are outside. I just threw my hands up. I just told you these people have bottles and they are confronting my friend. I was so done. what puts the icing on the cake is his friend disappears. I don't know him that well, but I wasn't going to let these people jump him. All I want to say is Atlanta Club owners are something else and these scary a** friends suck.

The best weekend ever?

Playing~”I should be your man”-Rahbi

Okay, everything was not shot to hell this weekend. Actually, it was a pretty good weekend. In my attempt to make this weekend the best weekend ever I attended several events. Let’s start with Thursday. I went to what I thought was a soul event. I walked in and turned right back around. It was a complete bust and I didn’t wait for the acts I would enjoy.

Friday night was fair. I went to an event with poets, singers, and other (I can’t think of a category to put some of the artist). I drove pass the place like 2 times getting lost both times, because I was shocked by the location. I thought it would have been at some night club/bar, but I was completely misinformed. It was in someone’s apartment that was set up like an intimate club. I came to see Georgia Me speak, but it was taken way too long for her to come up and I was hungry ( we went and got us some Glady’s and Ron’s).

Saturday was the best! First, I went to the event in Stone Mountain and I was in for a treat. When I arrived Sunshine Anderson was performing and I thought to myself "this might be about something". Then, I hear the announcement that Rahsaan Patterson is the next act. My best friend and current roommate look at each in shock. Rahsaan!!!! He loses his mind and I’m playing it cool. He is literally kicking and screaming in a towel. At that moment, I realize I don’t have my bleeping camera! He performed 4 songs (where you are, so fine, spend the night, and something else). He was suppose to do more, but I think he could fight the heat. Then, I was in for another shocker Donald Lawrence and his singers performed. I was done for the day. However, I was determined to keep the weekend flowing. I decided to go to a Harmony in Life event. I really enjoyed myself there. My rommie was done. His energy was shot after being outside all day and he was busy chit chatting with this bi-curious boy which is driving me up the wall. He would regret it when I told him Rahsaan showed up at the club. I thought he was going to jump in a cab or something. I would have at least took a picture for him, but I left my freakin' camera again. *beyond pissed at this point* The performers were great (PJ Morton, Rahbi, Shamora, Eric Roberson, etc)! thebrotherlove has the list in its entirety. Anyone who knows me knows I love live music, so I was really in a state of euphoria after the day of events. Outside of the fact I wasn’t hollered at once the whole weekend. Granted, Saturday I wasn’t completely dressed to impressed, but I was still together. My feet hurt from those freakin’ shoes for a few hours after the event (my rommie mad me wear them).

Sunday, I went and gave thanks at church and relaxed all day. Today, I haven’t done a thing. I feel like such a loser. I need to do something. I didn’t find a date, but I did enjoy myself. My best friend and I both are confused. We thought we would run into someone by now. How can you not meet a guy in Atlanta? Then, again, we haven’t ran into a lot guys in one particular place, which is also confusing us. I thought there were a lot of gays here. sighs

To give you a taste of what I experienced

Eric Roberson


Rahbi


PJ Morton


Rahsaan Patterson