Friday, November 30, 2007

Perception is everything

Some people's perception of things will really blow your mind. Have you had an experience and someone thought it was great and you thought I could have missed this whole experience? Then, you have to bring them back to reality. aahhmm...were you and I experiencing the same thing? I had to give someone that reality recently. "I don't know if you noticed, but I didn't have the same reaction you did. It wasn't good for me." My friends thought I was cold for telling the truth to the person, but they really were ego trippin' and I was like what are yyyyoooouuu talking about? I also had to check myself regarding matters surrounding this encounter. Have you had to bring someone back to reality?

I've been bottom lining it for myself and everyone around me. Remove all of the bs ppl are telling us (I've been hurt, I'm scared, I'm confused,etc). We keep rationalizing this BS. We came to the conclusion we need to do better, but will we?

Monday, November 26, 2007

It's call growing up

I'm sitting here at 3:42am and I'm reflecting on my life (the good, the bad, and the inbetween). I realized the past few years have caused a great deal of growth and revealed a lot about my character. All of the things that were discovered weren't necessary good things. There are so many things I should have done differently and so many decisions I shouldn't have made. Then, I realized, I could go all day with a list of possible outcomes. However, I have to live in my current reality. I've learned (maybe I should say I am learning) to appreciate where I am. I need to be thankful for all of the bad decisions, tough times, and the lack of risk taking. Those decision and circumstances made me into the person I am now and I'm a big freakin' deal! (lmbo).

Monday, November 19, 2007

HEY! (random things)

Playing~"People Person"-Donnie

  • I didn't see the AMA, but thanks to our handy dandy dailymotions I was able to watch the performances. aahhhmm...Did Rhiannna show up Alicia, Mary, and B? Something is terribly wrong with this picture.
  • I enjoyed Rahbi's Strange Fruit showcase this weekend. Trina who sings backup for Rahsaan killed "You Brought the Sunshine" and Algebra killed "Can We Talk".
  • My boss calls me 10 mins ago to make sure I'm not going to leave the company...LMBO "just to let you know, you did get your raise". Oh, it finally came through. I guess two managers quitting made you extremely nervous, huh. I gave him a politically correct answer with a subliminal message of I'm prepared to leave at anytime.
  • Has anyone saw a picture of blogger Rod2.o? pppsss....Mr. Rod...just joking
  • "Lesson Learned" is my sh*t! Sing Alicia
  • By far, me moving into my current apartment complex was the absolutely worst decision I've made since moving to Atlanta. I can't even think about it. These irresponsible, unscrupulous, rude whores will make you catch a case...arrgghh
  • I reconnected with my crew up here, so that's been great! I'm getting better with meeting people and socializing, but I'm still trying to meet the right group of people. I've never struggled to connected with people. Idunno what's going on now.
  • Shopping was the best this weekend was it not? I brought2 bottles of cologne and received two as a gift from a buddy(Diesel's Fuel for Life, Fahrenheit, Armani's Attitude, Dior's Higher Energy). I grabbed a few things from Banana Republic, Macy's, and Express.
  • This song is definitely the truth! Everybody's looking for something, but I wish they wouldn't look for it from me.
  • Believe it or not I don't curse in real life
Playing~"love"-Kirk Franklin

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Reading is fundamental

I'm in need of a good read. Anybody read anything good lately?

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

that darn A. Keys and this homo thing

I'm definitely feelings this album. It gives you a fuse of R&B, Soul, and Funk (in my opinion). If you are looking for a lot of production, this is not the album for you. A lot of live instruments and great vocals is what you will find. Highlights on the album: No One (is for her pre-existing fan base), Like You'll Never See Me Again (this made me buy the album), Lesson Learned, Wreckless Love, The Thing About Love, Teenage Love Affair,I Need You, Prelude To A Kiss, and Tell You Something

A song (Prelude To a Kiss) on the album sparked a conversation between a friend and I. I asked him "Do you think people understand who you are?" "Do they relate to you well?" Response, "Yeah, they understand and relate to the part I show them". *sigh* The invisible life of the gays (men and women). We talk about how both of us don't share that portion of our lives with everyone in our lives. He recently came out to some friends and it went well. Anyway, some kinda way he referred to this stage of his life as an experience (like it's just something he going through). I quickly jumped all over him. No, Disney World is an experience. This is real! It's not a moment or a day. This is your life! I may not choose to share a lot of my business publicly, but one thing I don't do is disillusion myself. We went into a discussion about religion, which was interesting and enjoyable. I like bouncing all these ideals on people.

Friday, November 09, 2007

How many know what love is?

Playing~"Was it worth it"-Keyshia Cole

People use the word love so freely. It has lost its true essence. Love goes beyond the butterflies you feel in your stomach and the random thoughts that run through your head all day. Love is a choice. People are confusing liking someone and loving some. I’m so sick of hearing about it. How do you love someone and keep someone on the side the whole time. Love influences your decisions to better your relationship. You choose to not sneak, tip, and creep because you love someone. Thus, you don’t make conscious and repetitive decisions that will endanger your relationship. If you ever want to see how much you love someone examine the decision you make that directly affects them. I believe love and commitment go hand in hand. However, I don’t believe they are equally balanced all the time. Some people may not feel all these beautiful feelings, but they are committed to the person they are with and they make a decision to honor that commitment. Feeling change, but love surpass how you feel.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

I Cor. 13v.4-8

Thursday, November 08, 2007

a little bit of this and that

I consider myself someone who lets things go relatively easy. However, Wednesday Morning I woke with a few things on my mind before my alarm went off. I was contemplating the reality of some circumstances and how I can effect them. I finally got up to get ready for work and I felt like I was having a panic attack or something. My chest was tightening up and I was having shortens of breath, which kinda freaked me out. I didn't realize I allowed circumstances that for the most part, I didn't create effect me. I received so much crazy information in the past 2 weeks that I thought had no effect on me, but apparently it did. I said all of that to say this, do what you can to assist, but don't carry other people's burdens.
Now on to the randomness:
  • Isn't funny how the truth always reveals itself? I love when people adamantly deny something only to slip up and admit it later. I'm savoring the moment when I can call their behind out. I knew you were f**king him! LLLLIIIAAARRR!!!!
  • Alicia Keys is really a fly chick. She was great at the concert.
  • Remember I talked about that raise...well, they aren't sure if I received it. WTbleep
  • Isn't proverbs a great book in the bible
  • I haven't heard a sincere THANK YOU from Rommie yet. If it happen, he must have said it when I first let him move in. I'm glad I did it from the heart, so a thank you is not that big of a deal. He is enjoying his place on the Westside.
  • Somehow I end up making others peoples' mate (male or female) mad at me. To the shock of both their mate and myself. I'm always respectful and I rarely contact (call, text, etc) anyone who is connected, but some kinda way I rub them the wrong way. I'm confused because their partner contacts me (heck sometimes I didn't even know they exist). jeez

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Spiritual Vitamin

This song is a testimony for me and I'm sure for a few others. I typically don't go into my beliefs on here, but it's such a part of who I am. I don't know why I don't mention it more often, but I really enjoy this song.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Doing it again (not)

Playing~"love again"-Gordon chambers and Ledisi

I went against my better judgment and e-mailed Plan B (I didn't have his number). I get a friendly e-mail back. Come to find out he didn't know why we stopped talking either and wanted to talk. Roomie is the one who thought I really should contact him. He also thought I really should call. I wasn't so sure about that. Basically, he plans on getting his groove back real soon with someone, so he wants me squared away. Again, I didn't know if I really want to invest anytime in him period. However, he is the only guy I allowed myself to be open with, so he's easy, comfortable even (that's his appeal). Fast forward(4 days later)

Tonight, I texted him for a dual purpose. One, I wanted us to meet in person, so I ask when is he free. Two, I wanted someone's number(that's really why I texted him). He doesn't like the meeting in person ideal. Plus, he doesn't give me the number. He will give the person my number. I'm like wtf. They ask about me all the time per your words. Now I don't have a date for a concert. They probably will call me too late. I thought the meeting in person was a great ideal. I wanted to lay everything on the table face to face (no pseudo boldness that people develop over the phone).

Basically, we ran into what we always ran into. Two alpha males trying to battle it out. Typically, I don't battle, because I don't care enough to. I let people do whatever they want within reason. We will not be doing this again