Tuesday, November 25, 2008


It's been 3 weeks and I haven't reached out to you. I know I'm coming across as an a**hole, but it's for your good. I would only hurt you in the end. I hope I wasn't a major influence factor in you getting a place in Atlanta.

I'm realizing I'm more in love with the image of love than love itself. Most people are they just don't realize it or don't want to admit.

I kinda wish we would have f**ked, but it's too late now. You were so in tune sexually I know you would have been on the money.

I'm stuck on waiting, but now I don't even have a reason to wait. I guess it's just habit to avoid or stop sexual advances.

Speaking of sex, I must have put some serious sexual energy in the air. People are coming out of the wood works.

Freak Freak contacted me...it's been like 4 months. I all but laughed him to death...was I wrong? What made him think I would change my mind and give him play now.

I'm trying to figure out why I keep having sexual dreams with me and random women.

An associate of mine decided to push up on me as well. Push up on me is saying it lightly...My legs were on his shoulders while he is bouncing me on his pelvis. Can you imagine a slim 5'8 dude legs being on the shoulders of a 6'4 solid built dude while he bouncing him up and down? I was holding on for dear life. Should I be embarrassed to say I liked it...lol.

I thought it was the liquor, but he wants the kid. I'll pass...I don't like the thought of sexing a friend of a friend. You know, we tell our friends 80% of our business and I can't have our mutual friend knowing all of my business.

Slick and I are in a weird place. I can't explain it. I'm growing at a much faster rate than he is and it's causing us to have an awkwardness.

Apparently, I'm exuding a different level of confidence and sexual energy that people aren't use to. I haven't changed my style of dress or anything. It's intangible

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Do we give too much power to a nut?

Ph.D thinks we do. I was out with Ph.D and a few other associates. We discussed monogamy. Half of the table felt like monogamy was unnatural. We aren't wired to be with one person. We are naturally attracted to more than one person at one time.

They were okay with an open relationship, but the person had to be honest about their feelings and encounters. Their process was if the person meets all of my needs, I don't care about them busting a nut with someone else. What are you're thoughts on monogamy being unnatural? Could you handle an open relationship?

Personally, I couldn't deal with an open relationship. If I'm emotional invested in someone I don't want to share any intimate part of them with someone else. Call me old fashion

Thursday, November 06, 2008


I don't know if I really want you
You're safe for me
Your established, mature, and stable
I'm still not sure if I want you
You want me so bad
it makes me feel weird, because I don't want you as bad
You have been the only man to approach me correctly
which excited me
I felt like someone finally has sense
It immediately made me feel comfortable
and I'm still not sure if I want you
I think I feel like I should want you
I definitely don't want to look around realize I'm the old lonely dude at the bar
I'm afraid of being that guy
so much so it makes me want to be completely enthrotled with you
but I don't get that feeling
I don't feel extremely excited
I get anxious because you are the first man I've officially talked to
but I don't get overwhelmed
I'm not sure if the feeling even exist
I sure hope it does
I don't want to date you just because you can occupy some time
I shoulf desire you here
I'm just not sure

*random thought floating through my head about him. I hope it makes sense. I have to run to work.*

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

In my lifetime

I became teary eyed when the results came in from the election. I was overwhelmed with pride, joy, and sense of responsibility. I felt like I needed to dream bigger, work harder, and do better. When Barack was announced as President-Elect what emotions did you feel?

People all over the world celebrated this moment in history.