Monday, July 16, 2007

Who made these rules?

Being gay can be a little too complicated. There are too many rules for the gays. My Lord! You need to be like this and not be like that. Tops don’t dance like that. Bottoms don’t approach men or they shouldn’t. Who made all of these rules? I mean it’s deeply entrenched in the culture. Secondly, what’s up with the sex rules? We all were on the phone one night and we were discussing tops/bottom, etc. One person busted out with versatile men are confused. WHAT?! Was my response along with the other friend. “That is confusion and I’m not confused.” I completely disagree. I think it depends on how the person makes you feel. I'm just a stronger believer in using your penis. It deserves to be treated. Granted, I haven’t had sex with a man, so I’m just speaking from the top of my head. What do you guys think about all of these rules?

Can you love two people at the same time?

9 comments:

yet another black guy said...

from what i've been reading, this seems to be the gay sexual revolution. i think it's because of the perception that tops are more dominant and masculine and bottoms are submissive and femme.

guys are trying to put themselves and/or others into some box that they THINK is supposed to fit. which ever brings you the most pleasure is the role that fits, even if it's both.

D.LavarJames said...

Folks need to get over these "roles" that they get backed into. They need to stop acting how they think they supposed to, and act like a real person and enjoy what they want without the BS of everyone else

Mr. Jones said...

I think these rules are stupid and dumb and outmoded. It's absurd.

The gay black male is the most 'boxed in' social group in America. I've been saying that for years. As a black gay man in America, you can't just be, you have to be something. That's really unfortunate b/c I don't wanna be placed in a box. I just don't like being categorized. In doing that, something about me is marginalized. I just don't like it.

What really sucks is that we do it to ourselves. We, in my opinion, are primarily responsible for how the world-at-large views as.

I had a similar conversation with my friends. I was really surprised by how many so quickly (and proudly) proclaimed they don't do this or they only do that. The tops were proud to never have bottomed. The bottoms were appalled by the idea of ever topping. Their inability or unwillingness to step outside of their boxes is exactly why 90% of them are still searching for relationship/sexual happiness.

To be clear, my stance on this is that in order for any relationship to work, there has to be some give and take -- pun intended. You can not enter into a partnership being completely unwilling to reciprocate in whatever it is you may be doing. That concept, in my mind, transcends sex.

Unknown said...

Enjoy your partner, fuck the stereotypes and live. Let the rules be maintained and followed by the close-minded.

ThisMightBeMe said...

I co-sign cocoa rican and mr. jones completely. set your own rules.

@GaryTylone said...

What they said...mmmhhmmm

Corey Keith said...

Wow! You always provide such loaded posts... Just do you and live for you.. And yes, you can love two people at the same time. And there is no shame in that! And, by the way, I love a man who can sing and speak Soprano.

That Dude Right There said...

Follow your own rules as long as they don't hurt other people.

And yes, you can love 2 people at the same time. Ask any person who has had a long-term affair.

Anonymous said...

In my opinion, we hold ourselves, in our gay lives, up to the traditional heterosexual relationship model. Does that make sense? Being passive, submissive and feminine are all things that are classically associated with being a woman in a hetero world. The woman is also the one penetrated in such a relationship... The same argument can be made about a man, only to the opposite side of the spectrum, in a hetero relationship. He is looked at as being dominant, masculine and the penetrator.

We see more examples of heterosexual relationships than we see homosexual relationships. It is my belief that we have tried to emulate those heterosexual relationships.