Playing~"Backstroke"-Teedra Moses
My aunt always says, "life, you will not find a perfect mate, but you need to find the person with the least amount of manageable problems." I fully understand what she means now as an adult who is trying to date. Sure, we will never find a perfect mate, but how do we measure what's manageable. This question has been bouncing around in my head for awhile. Nowadays it's hard to find someone who's faithful and when we find someone who's faithful we try to hold on to them. However, they have an issue in another major department. For example, they can't manage their money. Is dealing with a broke mate the trade off for having someone who is faithful? I've seen a lot of people stay in some bad situations and I'm like "wtf, leave him/her alone". Often, those people don't leave because they feel like there is nothing better out there or starting over is too much of a headache. Do we settle for good enough in our relationships, because finding someone half way decent is hard enough? Do we every stop searching for the person who is slightly more compatible than what we currently have? Don't we deserve to get the mate we've dreamed and fantasized about?
Playing~"Heaven Sent"-Keyshia Cole
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
9 comments:
How much you're willing to tolerate is up to you. We all have certain things we can and cannot put up with from other people.
I don't think it's a good idea to settle. Though your dream man is probably just that, a dream, don't just get with somebody for the sake of saying you have someone.
I persnally want someone that I am attracted to and has the same type of ambition and goals I do and is honest.
I think other than that I can pretty much deal with the rest.... maybe who knows lol
Your Aunt is so right. The problem is that many of us find that when we think we have found someone with "manageable problems or flaws' that person has a hidden agenda or worst. It is important that we have as much to offer as we want in return,for me that is a gentle person, reasonable amount of intelligence, good credit score and credit history, employed and honestly likes me for me, not necessarily love me, but at least likes me and we can work around the brotha jacked up credit as long as his mind is right and his heart is in the right place.
Hmmm...I don't know...I do know that I've made changes to make ME a better suitor (honesty, respect, open-minded stance, etc.) in the end, love ISN'T enough and you have to do what's right for you. Find someone who has similar goals, complimentary personality and a desire to grow old and grow (PERIOD!) with you.
I do not believe that I'll ever find the "perfect" mate but I like to believe that on day I'll find a mate who's perfect for me. However, we just really never know what we'll get or even "if" we'll get. I think about the song "I Feel Good All Over" by Stephanie Mills when she says "you and I have what others dream about.." and then I think about those who have that. So I keep in mind that it's possible and possible for me but the probability is where I question. I'm all for being single, fabulous and complete and all of those good things but for those of us who long for "love", it ain't easy. Now that's a fact!
I believe that you will love my Feb. Posts. I am working on a slew of posts dealing with relationships! I will include this in it!
A person who has problems managing money, I can deal with. Someone who stays broke, no. Any love between us would be strained by persistent financial problems.
I don't ever think you settle, however I believe you weigh the pros and cons and just like everything else in life, you try to go with the one with the most pros. That's all we can do.
I hate the when people feel like they are "settling" for someone else. It's like they feel as though they are some prize and others should feel privileged to be with them.
I believe that the best thing for me is to to find someone with whom I am compatible. After I find that person, then we can work all the other things out.
I feel like if a person thinks they are a prize that is a good thing. I was raised to care about other people, but i was always taught to look out for number one, ME! if that means that I have to view myself as a prize, then so be it! Who wants to have someone who thinks they aren't worth being a prize?
On the other note, why would you want to be with someone that you have to work things out with? i would want to be with some who is at least mostly compatible if not completely compatible. thats why people break up and move on for someone who is more compatible!
Post a Comment