Keeping it real

Playing~just rain dropping on the ground outside of my window

Being authentic is tough. In a world that’s full of derivatives of someone else. As much we use the words “keep it real” we rarely do. It’s a challenge to be honest to the situations you face and the feelings you feel. Our egos and pride absolutely refuses to be vulnerable enough to say “I’m afraid”, “you really hurt when you did/said whatever”, “I have no ideal what I am doing” or “I struggle with ____”. Often times being honest with ourselves will disrupt a great deal of our current state of being. We are so focus on positive thinking and moving onward and upward we become disconnected from reality. We develop our own version of what happen and how we resolved the issues. I definitely believe positive thinking and moving on is great in its place. I definitely have the gift of goodbye. However, often times those characteristics that can be necessary to survive tough situations allow us to move on prematurely. We fail to learn, grow, and heal from all the snares of life. I rarely evolve when I’m coasting. Its times when I’m sad, can’t explain how I feel, or I’m down right confused when I discover my opportunities.

For example, I use to think people were talking about me negatively because they didn’t “understand me” or they were “hating”, but some of those people weren’t stun me. They just so happen to look up when I came in the room. Those were my thoughts and I was projecting those feeling onto them. I was the one who had some self-esteem issues and didn't understand some parts of me. I cloaked those issues with being proud of what I looked liked and who I was. I had to relive those times when people called me all types of names because of one reason or another, which brought on this pseudo confidence, because I absolutely refused to let those mfers know they could get me down, but the truth is they did. Their actions and my response followed me all the way to my sophomore year in college. Feeling and Saying it how you feel may come across as immature, silly, conceited, whatever, but it’s how you feel and that’s as real as it can get (well, at least for you).

Sometimes we lack faith, we fall, we’re anger, we’re depressed and we have to be true to those moments. We need to stop just walking away as if we were not affect, because issues always have away of resurfacing themselves again and again. However, we should not live in any of those places it’s unhealthy, but to deny those places or move on from them like they never exist is unhealthy too. We have to be careful that we don’t keep creating versions of ourselves that are untrue and impossible for us to live up to.