I am....

*edited Saturday evening*

emotional disconnected. wishes he wasn't. developed that vice from his mom. she taught him the hard way. blames her for nothing. forgives her for everything. missed his father. happy he was never in his care. watching his father die after not seeing him for years messed him up. hates to admit. loves to sing. knows he is not a singer. has a low to average libido. subconsciously thinks sex is wrong, so he doesn't indulge. would f*#k all the time. thinks it's ashame that sex is something he remembers as THE sin. didn't help that his first sexual experience was an inappropriate one. was hurt by it. wonders if apart of it he enjoyed. despite the fact he was around 7. knows most people think his lack of sex at his age is weird. lives his life too calculated. he is tired of people telling him he does. can't help it. has a strong need for control in his personal life. likes to make people feel like they are in control. he knows he always is. thus, he is passively dominate. likes it that way. it plays into peoples ego. enjoys the simple things in life. wants to live lavish. Status is important to him. hates that it is. Doesn't like to be the center of attention. must be recognize. very friendly and patient. known to be extremely nasty if those two things are taken advantage of. loves the shock people have when he gets nasty. dares anyone to try him. Misunderstood. doesn't try to clarify, he just accepts that fact. full of faith. has a few doubts. loves to debate Social Economic Status (SES) and the current state of America. plays the daredevil when people discuss God and homosexuality. has issues with it himself. loves to see people quickly find out they don't know what in the hell they are talking about. is an enigma. wishes he wasn't. doesn't care much for politics. rarely watches the news. finds it depressing. love gossip blogs. hates to be misrepresented. misrepresents himself by being too modest. sick of being the good guy. can't help it. never been in love. has experience someone being in love with him. wants to be everything to everybody. doesn't give a f*#k.

beautifully human

*written grammatically like this on purpose*