"Won't go home without you"-Maroon 5
Trying to mediate your spiritual beliefs and your reality is a challenge we all face. We struggle to give thanks when it appears there is nothing to give thanks for. We struggle to deny ourselves to please a God we’ve never seen. If you don’t…tell me the secret, please!!!! A blogger asked me about my views on homosexuality, because it appeared that I had this strict religious background. I think over the past few months my views have changed quite a bit. Moving here seemed to expedite my point of view on God and Homosexuality. Years ago, I felt it was the worst curse you could receive from God. It’s one thing to deny yourself the things of this world, but it’s another thing for you to deny a piece of you. Since I can recall I’ve had something for boys. I didn’t understand what it was, but I knew it made me different. For a few years, I thought I was “delivered” from it. During those years I can only recalled a few isolated incidents when I felt that thing for boys. I definitely believe in the scripture “according to your faith be it unto you” and at that time I believed I was delivered, so I was. However, I think I always knew it was there. I think I just had starved it so much it was never in the fore front.
Now, I feel like it’s nothing I decided and trust I wouldn’t have chosen this. I’m at peace with it. My spirit is not contrite about the issue anymore. Yes, somedays I have moments of sadness regarding my sexuality and a part of me still feels like me getting my life right means getting rid of boys. I think that’s why I’m not out when it comes to my sexuality. I don’t go to “gay” events and I’m not very responsive when men give me a little extra attention (hhmm..maybe this is why I’m single). There is always that thought of if I ever married a women how would I explain this to her or I wouldn’t want someone to think I’m a hypocrite for talking to men and claiming to love God. Whether me feeling comfortable with me being with men is right or wrong I don’t know. I just know this is where I am and my life the way it is.
Playing~Better that we break"-Maroon 5
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7 comments:
Good post. I was troubled by this sentence though.
"I wouldn’t want someone to think I’m a hypocrite for talking to men and claiming to love God."
No one can ever tell you about your feelings for and relationship with your god. Ever. People can perceive you however they want, but don't question your love for your god for one second because of what you think others think you and your sexuality.
life, this does not mean you lack faith … even the apostle paul apparently had an ongoing conflict between mind and flesh (see Romans 7:14-25)
i’m feelin maroon 5 too
Hey. It seems like the more I except my sexuality, the more I move away from organized religion. I've got to find away to marry the 2...
HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
As a preacher's son - the first at that! - I struggled with this issue for quite some time. In the end, I left home at 15 and don't regret it. I now have a healthy relationship with my family, but it includes their not openly accepting my lifestyle and my demanding they respect me and anyone who is my company when we visit. I love God and I still question how the Bible and homosexuality can be reconciled, but I have chosen to live fully - as a gay man who is proud of who he is and respectful of the God he has in his heart. I don't think I can live a closeted life in the hopes that one day I'll be saved only to find that the Bible had been misinterpreted by someone and my being gay was as natural and pleasing to God as being straight. Do you... live your life...love God and you will make peace with yourself.
it really bothers me that most organized religion has accepted the KJV of the Bible as THE absolute word of God... instead of being INSPIRED by God.
Especially since King James put strict rules for the scholars who were doing the translation. (which was translated not from the original Hebrew but from the Geneva Bible... so basically translating a translation).
I totally recommend anyone who is interested in Biblical history to read Alister McGrath's In the Beginning: The Story of the King James Bible and How it Changed a Nation, a Language, and a Culture . In that book you will see that King James wanted any word that could be interpeted in more than one way to be kept in terms used by "eminent" fathers, instead of what the literal translation of the Hebrew word is.
But this just the thoughts of grandchild of pastor.
I'm gonna leave this one alone.
Life, you do you. That is all I can say about it. You have to make your own decisions.
Though I have been comfortable with my sexuality for most of my life, I did have a period of time when I was uncomfortable. What I had to do was put it into perspective. I felt bad because I was just sexing to be sexing. I realized that that was my hangup. I felt like I was dishonoring God because I was using my body. Once I put a stop to that, only then was I able to put it all into perspective and into line with the way my relationship with God.
The thing is, I had to do it in my own time... the same thing goes for you.
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