Playing ~ “On and On”-Erykah Badu
Hi, I’m life and I’m everything I dreamt I would be. I’m so happy to be here. I’ve been waiting for the day when I could smile and give the finger to everyone who ever hated on me. Unfortunately, this day has not come YET. You know, it’s the worst to have greatness embodied in you. It’s always there to remind you that you fell just short of your potential. It’s there to antagonize you when you’re just a mess. You are confused! Trying to figure out how to manifest the ideals, emotions, words, and actions that somehow has penetrated your heart, permeated your mind and attached itself to your soul. You have to settle for “things will happen in God’s timing”, which they will.
As of late, I’ve been feeling some kinda way (let’s say melancholy). Completely zoning out and just doing me. Not feeling like being on the phone and only old school music can relate to how I feel (after 7, babyface, etc). Every now and again, I have to remind myself (you’re 23 y/o…not 30). I’m one of those crazy people; you know the type. They try to plan their lives out fluidly, but with time constraints. For example, I will own a home by the age of 27. They don’t care how it happens, but they can’t move into the home the day after their 27th birthday. I’m just wondering when the things I dreamt of as a child will meet my present….exhales
I’m often told…”life, you don’t know how to just live”. It’s sad, but true. I try, but even in the midst of my trying I’m thinking “what if this happens”. I am definitely a person who lives in their superego and I can’t get control of it. I have moments of what the hell. For example, I attempted to meet a blogger. For me this was a big deal. For other people it is nothing. Okay, this post has turned out to be about two different things I had no intentions of writing about. Can anyone relate to what I’m talking about though? The aggravation of having greatness trapped inside and/or cautious living. Until I write again…
Playing~ “One is the magic number”- Jill Scott
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6 comments:
Life is so crazy like that. The easiest way to live is identify the things youd like to accomplish and realistic ways of achieving those goals. So you want a house by 27, you have 4 years to achieve it, VERY realistic. Dont let anyone steal your dreams. My mom always told me dream BIG and dream in Color! Do it you'll surprise yourself. Keep livin bruh you'll be alright
Yup... you've described ME! I'm outgoing, free-spirited and a creature of habit... everyone recognizes my greatness - well, everyone BUT me. So relax pa... eventually you realize that you can live your life through the vicarious life of greatness others have pegged for you...if only in spurts. LOL
nothing wrong with goals... but somethings come when the higher power thinks you are ready.
You know its funny, I was justthinking on that very same idea last week! I was at work having all of these short comings and I was thinking to myself on the "me" side and said, "Why am i putting myself through this? I'm better than this!" and thought just like 2 days ago that I serve a God that is more than able to give me the desires of my heart. I deserve greatness and I am a great person, even if I am the only one that thinks so!
So I FEEL you!
I am one of those people that planned out their life according to a time table also. I wanted to be married at 25 and have a house at 30. and at least 2 kids at that time too! Things are different now so I have learned to go with the flow...
"I have to remind myself (you’re 23 y/o…not 30). "
Don't start anything. I'm about to hit 30 in 11 months.
The thing about enjoying life is to take care of yourself and do what makes you smile. When you get overwhelmed thinking about what you shoule be doing, just stop.
Iyanla Vanzant said that in life, "you are where you are supposed to be".
So I must admit I am shocked to find out that you are only 23. By the way you carry yourself through your words and your situations I thought you were someone with a few more years under your belt.
That is a good thing because it obviously came off to me as you having a maturity that I admire.
Now that I know that you are 23, let me give you a little advice! I am 28 and I remember being 23 and thinking many of the same things as you. Now that I am 28 I can tell you that I have reached many of my goals and even surpassed them! The funny thing about life is that when you stop trying to make it happen and just live it things start to fall into place.
Don't get me wrong, you do have to do plenty of preparation, but if you follow the map you have created for yourself you should have no problem. Put the car on cruise control and ride on.
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