Question

Has practicality taken away your dreams? As adults we often find ourselves redefining the parameters of our childhood and young adult dreams. How are you coping with it?

Upadate

Playing~ "Green eyes"-Erykah Badu

• I went out this weekend (TradeMark). It was okay, I guess. I don't know what I expect out of the club scene here, but I haven't experienced it. D'jangos was pretty good a month ago.
• My intentions weren't to go to the club. I was suppose to do dinner and a movie with friend(s)/associate(s). Too many ppl responded to my mass text, so I ended up going to dinner with one friend, a lounge a little later, and the last stop was the club. Gas is too high, so I changed in my car for the club...lol.
  
• Papi wasn't acting right! He wasn't giving me what I needed at the club. He wasn't his usual dancing self. Apparently, you have to change your persona pending the club. You don't dance too much at Trademark. WTF?! We paid $10 to stand here?! Get your @** on the dance floor. I saw this guy who I've been trying to figure out, so the night wasn't completely wasted. Papi said he was taken. I wasn't going to do anything anyway. I suck..lol.
  
• Papi is just a club friend. We tried to converse about regular stuff and our conversations are completely different. I may shake my behind at the club and ke ke about frivolous stuff, but I expect so much more outside of the club. He gives great club advice. Apparently, I'm too focused partying with my friends that I missed an opportunity or two with the ppl I was hoping to meet. I'll miss the subtle stuff every time, because I'm trying to have a good time with my friends. SPEAK!!
  
• Why do people call each other b*tch, girl,etc ? I don't like the disrespectful name calling stuff. Am I the only one who thinks it's rude for these boys to skee-wee and ooooppp? If I even thought someone was duplicating my org. I give them the side eye quick.
  
• Papi gives Atlanta exactly what it likes confusion (j/k). "Give them all boy with a trace of lady and they are in love". I thought that was the funniest sh*t ever, but it works. He pulls at least two ppl he likes and one person who is just mesmerized by him every time. No matter where we go one dude is almost captured by him. Heck, he almost got me Sunday. I saw him and almost macked him out...lol. He's such a cutie
  
• I created a youtube page. Check out videos from the concerts I've attended. Videos take awhile to upload (~15 mins. each), so I will keep adding through out the week.
• I'm moving to another apartment. My current location gives you a good deal for the space, but the service is so poor. You will catch a case messing with these ppl. They are so nasty, ineffective, unhelpful, etc.
• Trying to find a reasonable place to stay in town is almost impossible. I don't do roommates. I'm too grown to argue over shared space and the items that go into them (food, entertainment, etc). Companies are trying to charge like $800+ for less than 700 sq ft in some cases. ARE YOU SERIOUS! I need to invest in a home.
  
• I found one place that is expensive, but with its introductory rate it matches the other companies. The bedroom is small, but everything else is great. Everyone knows I love big bedrooms, bathrooms, and closets. Everything else doesn't matter. I guess 9 out of 10 is not bad, but what am I going to do after the lease is up. I definitely will not pay basically $1000 for rent. {sigh} maybe a roommate is not that bad after all..lol.
  
• I'm trying a new haircut. My haircut is extremely low, but ppl seem to like it. When you go to my youtube page you can go to my myspace. If you view the pictures, the second picture is how I have my haircut now.
  
• I was a little pensive on Sunday. It caused me to realize I haven't made peace with my spirituality and sexuality as I once thought. Subconsciously it probably keeps me from pursuing someone. After much thought realized I feel like I have to reject one and embrace the other. That was definitely a discovery
  

My little secret

Playing~"Say It"-rihanna

Deuce, his bf, and myself were having a conversation. Both of them were warning me against having my man around myfriends ( I don't have one). "DON'T HAVE YOUR PIECE AROUND YOUR FRIENDS!" I thought this was a little insecure. Maybe, I'm too confident, but I don't see it. When you experience a good thing you share it. You talk about it. What do you guys think about this? Should you keep your friends away from the person you're dating?

Two ladies who I am enjoying

Michelle Obama


Rihanna

At this moment very moment, I choose freedom!

Interesting

I woke up this morning and decided to look at photos in my old phone (it was so random). The first photo I saw was your photo. I took that picture right after I played around with you. The memories came in which caused me to smile and laugh. Sigh..It such a good thing that we no longer speak. The dichotomy of my feelings were interesting

random

It's 5:34 am and I am up contemplating my life. How did I get here? How do I progress? What lessons am I not learning? Hoping to receive some answers. I read my Bible, but I didn't find an answer there. I thought I should sit in silence, but it's too confusing. I'll listen to Acoustic Soul instead

Playing~"Promise"-India Arie

Wait til I get my money right

Anyone who knows me knows that not having money is one of my fears. I know what broke looks like, taste like, feels like and I would prefer not to experience any of the prior listed conditions of being broke. Thus, I'm very mindful of how I use and sometimes abuse my funds. I've noticed that I haven't had as much left over between paychecks (less than $700-600). I was not alarmed. I have a back up savings account that I never use and it receives a deposit every time I get paid. Plus, I have a little cash to back up that account. If I fear something I'll have so many buffers that fear never has a chance to manifest itself. Anyway, I wasn't happy about this decrease in discretionary funds, so I did some research.

I found this handy website. To my surprise, I was completely off with what I thought threw off budget. I recently started back paying tithe consistently. I'm over budget there, but that's not going to change. The website only budgets for 5% charitable contributions and everyone knows tithe is 10%. I pay too much on debt. That's not going to change either. I'm paying so much because I want the crap to go away. I really don't have much debt. Housing was a problem, but I'm going to fix that, which will put me back on budget. One thing I found that was amusing, I save too much. Is that possible? Anyway, check out the site

Conversations

I had a conversation with a group of friends and the topic came up of me telling my mother about my sexual preference. One associate thought it was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard.

Buddy:"You're not gay!"
{Everyone looked at him like WHAT?! We have been talking about men and dating for the past 5-10 mins.}
Buddy:"You're curious. Have you dated a man?
Me: "no"
Buddy: "Have you had sex with a man?"
Me: aahhmm...define sex..lol.
Buddy:"If you have to ask questions like that you haven't. Why tell your mother and confuse her. You will have her mind all over the place for nothing. Wait!"

What are your thoughts on this conversation?

My deuce is moving to Atlanta. I'm so excited! We have been spending a lot of time on the phone and in person. He has been trying to help me navigate through Slick and I predicament (you know him and Plan B had something going on).
Slick: "I've been keeping something from Life"
Deuce: "If I was you, I wouldn't tell me, because I'm Life's friend and I'm going to tell him"
Slick: "You're very serious about your loyalty"
Deuce: Very. I enjoy you, but Life is my friend.
{Slick immediately withdrew his confession}
Later...
Deuce advises me not to get rid of Slick. Yes, he definitely was trifling in this predicament and he will never be around my man. However, I think he's just inexperience and that caused his actions to be whatever they were.
Thoughts?