Playing in the background~"Stay (live)"-Erykah Badu
So, I struggle with relationships (surprise...lol). aaahhmm..I don't like the word struggle. Let's say I have an opportunity in the relationship department. Most of the time I kill them before they start. My friends call it self-sabotage (it's one of my defense mechanism per their words). I rarely give relationships a chance to flourish. One of two things happen, the first appearance of BS I'm counting my losses (w/ the exception of Plan B...wtf am I doing?). Why invest the time to confirmed what you knew in the beginning? My other vice is the lack of nourishment. This can be from the initial greeting or the lack of consistency in communication. Maybe, I'm living in lala land and my expectation is unrealistic. I want us to desire each other from the very beginning. There should be something that instantly intrigues you about your prospect, right? Am I living in fantasy? Maybe I'm just too functional. What vices do you have that kill your relationship?
Playing in the background~"Danger"-Erykah Badu
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6 comments:
I have had that same problem. I immediately start looking for the negatives in a person, which is HORRIBLE. Perhaps I am afraid of meeting the right person, so I try to verify that in fact im with the wrong person. Would that mean I am afraid of love? I am also running from my past and i know its going to wreck my future, but I can't help it. I know from past experiences what I wont tolerate and I know how to smell bullshit a mile away.
"I want us to desire each other from the very beginning. There should be something that instantly intrigues you about your prospect, right? Am I living in fantasy?"
I don't think anything is wrong with that. It's not a fantasy. That's what I would want.
simply put, I interpret a lack of attention as a lack of interest...you're dropped at the sign that I have doubts.
It's great that you have the ability to see bull. Most people don't have that.
But I will say that I have learned so much more about myself by sticking in there. How can you grow a little if you don't?
But I do know that destroying relationships comes from fear. My friends used to call me "Conan the Destroyer" cause I was too damned judgmental. But I feel if you know yourself well enough then you have nothing to fear. Try being friends first and then date them get to know them. Slowly let the guard down. It's what worked for me and my last relationship lasted over a year.
Sorry you are going through this, I can empathize.
Let me add that if you stick to your principles then they will be the one who walks away. Don't get caught up. Don't sacrifice yourself to be in a relationship but date, have fun, talk. If that is not what they want then they will move on.
if you're killing BS, then nothing lost there. but if you're shooting down good guys out of fear (rejection, failure, etc.) then your tactics aren't really aiding you.
my biggest vice was not acknowledging my feelings. that is never a good thing in any aspect of life.
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