Tuesday, February 17, 2009
I really like you, but the sex is bad
I was visiting a friend and we talked about this person they liked. They enjoyed the person quite a bit, but the guy is bad in bed. " I've tried to teach him, but he's just bad. He's just not fluid with sex. He doesn't know how to move and flow with you". The guy was knocked down a few knotches, because he was bad in bed. It made me think, how important is sex to a relationship? Could sex make or break a relationship? If everything else is in place, could you end a relationship because of bad sex? What would you do in this situation? Also, how important is sex to you in a relationship? The story just made me think
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9 comments:
I always say that sex is a part of the communication in a relationship. Bad sex can be like two people having the same conversation, but never understanding one another.
I compare sex to communication because they both are important to a healthy relationship. There are different degrees of bad sex. Some things are tolerable depending on how much you like/love that person. If the sex is that bad then there needs to be a conversation on what the likes and dislikes are. I believe everyone can be taught how to make love to the person that they love..
I'm sorry. If a person says that sex is not important to them then they are lying or they are lying. Sex is the one gift that God gave us that feels damn good to the soul. I can't think of one person who started out great with sex. It is a learned practice so he needs to study and let loose.
The best advice I can give is to get him drunk and he will be looser and not as inhibited. I have seen some of the most stiff dudes on the dance floor turn into dick poppin dudes when the juice hits them.
I've never experienced this with another individual, but I can see how it would affect the relationship. To me, sex is very important in a relationship, but I am not the type who has to have it all the time when I'm dating someone. It seems that I want it more when I'm single. However, I think that if I was deeply in love with someone, the sex would have to be extremely bad in order for it to have an impact on our relationship as I'm normally stimulated by other elements beyond just the sex.
Bad sex is very much a dealbreaker in my book. At this stage of the game, I don't have the patience to teach someone how to f*ck me. (The Single Me)
For the right person (assuming everything else is in tact - communication, appearance, credentials, etc.) I will show him how to and be free and loose via sensual/stimulating exercises, assuming he WANTS to learn. (The In-a-relationship Me)
Sex is one of the top three deal-makers or deal-breakers in a relationship. Communication and finance are the other two. Folks try to fool themselves into believing that when one of these three doesn't work or isn't what we expect, that they can still make it work, but take it from this OLD man, you're dooming your relationship to failure. Communication, sex and financial security will ALWAYS govern your relationship and when one of these goes awry, things will fall apart.
Good sex is a good thing, but it does not always start out that way, we have to be taught how to please our partners, good sex is a skill that takes much training, well not much.
If you encounter a brotha that can't handle his business in the bedroom speak on it and let the brotha know where he lacks, we all have big dicks, but that doesn't make our sex good we had to be taught.
@chet we all have big ones...hmmm
ABSOLUTELY@ Cocoa. Nuff said right there. I totally agree! N as BPS said, whoever says that sex isn't important is lying!
~Damnit!
I believe that sex wont make the relationship but it can be a major contributor to the breaking of the relationship.
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