I hope everyone had a merry Christmas.
A situation arose between a friend of mine and his ex. I didn't particularly agree with his thought process, so I'm getting feedback. It was a terrible breakup, so he felt like everyone who was attached to him shouldn't deal with the ex at all. Granted, they did do a lot of crazy stuff to him, but my thought process is they did it to you not to me. Anyway, he finds out one of his best friends have been keeping contacting with the ex. They agreed he wouldn't continue to talk to the ex, but he kept talking to him anyway. Anyway, my friends finds out that his friend has been telling his ex everything. He goes off. The ex shows up to the club they're at and that caused quite the scene. He refuses to talk to the friend and the ex. What are your thoughts? I thought the whole thing was a bit childish. I also thought you cannot tell your friends whom they can talk to. Anyway, your thoughts
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Break-ups are difficult and each situation can have varying outcomes. That said, there are times when long-term relationships have created bonds that muddle the lines of what friends ‘belong’ to whom. Sometimes friends that were once the close friend of one partner, have now become closer with the other partner. Therefore, it becomes more complicated when the times comes to ‘choose’ sides.
My personal experience has been:
• My friends are made privy to the gist of why my partner and I broke-up and the reasons why I don’t want to associate with that person. It is expected that if we are close friends you will not have close interaction with my ex and when there is a casual encounter between my ex and my friends the exchange should be short, concise and there should be no question where the loyalty of my friends lies.
• If my friends happen to have developed a close friendship with my, now ex, I ask that they do not invite us to the same functions simultaneously and assume that I will not participate in any gathering that includes my ex. No hard feelings if they choose to have my ex attend instead of me.
• At no time and for no reason should my personal business be discussed or divulged to my ex. Doing so is a breach of our confidential bond as friends and a glaring example of disloyalty.
• If my friends are so inclined to show a greater loyalty to my ex at the expense of our relationship, then they were never my friends to begin with, so I would agree with your friend to cut them off along with the ex.
The short and simple is to recognize that your friend is going through a tough time and need you to exercise good judgment, loyalty and respect for their feelings. If these factors appear to be difficult, then you may have chosen the wrong ‘ex’ to remain friends with.
I wish a mutha would tell me who I can and can't be friends with.
I'm kinda in a situation like this. One of my friends and his boy broke up a few weeks ago. Well me and the ex became cool and are still hanging out. Now, the original friend is pissed. Guess what? He's still pissed and gonna have to stay that way until he gets over it.
i was in that same situation. it's one thing to be cool and hang out with a my ex, but why would you tell all my personal business to someone who i am no longer with in any way?!
that's not just wrong, that's a real breach of trust. and to me, that's a deal breaker.
Yea the telling the personal info would be the fucked up thing. High hell hang out for all I care! The real question that I've never had to deal with is what about a friend of yours dating your ex...? Now hmmmmmmmmmm, touchy!
~Damnit!
Post a Comment