I have been kinda blah, introspective, and disappointed. During this time, I have discovered we all have one need, the need to feel good enough. We want to be the child that makes our mothers proud. The one she can brag on at work. We want to be the best employee at our jobs, so our education and experience can be affirmed by the company we work for. We also want to feel good enough to be loved (in the romantic sense). Thought about in the middle of the day. Trusted, cared for, etc.
The love department is where the challenge lies. We go the extra mile to prove that we are good enough. However, I have learned the hard way, being good enough to be loved is unmerited. You really can't earn it. For the most part, parents are proud of their children when they achieve. Jobs usually promote if you consistently perform well, but with the matters of the heart. Your sacrifices, hardwork, and dedication could mean nothing to someone else. There is no graduation to attend. The is no scale for you to be evaluated on. Nothing! When all of your work goes unnoticed or dismissed and the love you thought was exclusively yours is being shared with some other unknow person. You are left to wonder why. Why am I not good enough? Are they that better looking then me? Is the sex better? What do they have over me?
Monica has this song on her upcoming album entitled "Why her". It's been on repeat for sometime. I'm forcing myself not to listen to it now. Check it out http://www.zshare.net/audio/monica-why-her-produced-by-jermaine-dupri-mp3.html
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A young black man speaking his truth as he is discovering it.
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4 comments:
I do believe we all desire to be recognized, acknowledged, and honored. When nothing comes our way when much effort and work is rendered, we do have a feeling of incompleteness. I've learned that sometimes when you ask why, there is no answer because there are no 100% correct answers!
In love there are so many variables and unaswered questions. Maybe thats why youve had that song on repeat. When u ask why in love, most times the answer is silence. I try not to ask why and just take it for what it is. Nice blog.
That is so real. It is all about the need to be needed. It leads back to one of my mantras - It is what it is, don't try to make it what it ain't! Awesome Post!
Fantastic Post. As I am currently in the midst of what might be a great friendship blossoming into a great dating situation (and I won't go any further as to hope for more, but if it comes my way...well you know) I can't help but reflect on the truth of your post. It is unfair that your love your emotions are not rewarded with fanfare or pomp and circumstance. But we have to realize that with every relationship that goes bad think of it as moving from one grade to the next. Yes you are stronger, smarter, wiser. You may have some regrets or feel that you put all your energy into a losing battle. But if you survive that relationship that is your passing into that next grade. That graduation of love does come. When you find that one you want to settle down with. So keep busting your ass and making those grades. And love hard each time, you never know when you've reached your senior year. Again great post. And thanks for checking me out.
Staats
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