The internet

"Better People" ~ India Arie

The internet was suppose to be a world wide communication tool that would connect people all across the world. Well, it has definitely done its job, but I'm starting to believe it's becoming counter-productive. Do we talk anymore? What happen to conversation? I think some people are socially underdeveloped because of the internet. The internet provides them with the anonymity to be whomever they want to be. For example, person X would see person Y in person and wouldn't dare say a word to Y, but lets put a computer in front of X. X gains a certain boldness. I think the whole internet hook up thing is TACKY! Am I the only one who thinks people are socially underdeveloped because of the internet? Someone sees you in person and as soon as you notice them, they turn away. What is that about? I want your feedback

Today wasn't the day. I went to training for my new job for two weeks. I came back ready to work and make a change. Well, I faced the same BS. I'm so over it. However, during the training my team and I had to put together a presentation. Our presentation was so good, they are going to make it a regional program. I think I'm going to look for another job....this is some BS.

Welcome to the company

Work is a mess! Reports, test (yes, aint that some sh*t), projects, etc. I have so much crap to do. I can't just put it together. This is not a blog post (meaning no bad grammar..lol). Feel free to leave comments on previous post. Just started and I'm already slacking....jeez.

I want it

We are so like children. As soon as someone tells us not to do X, we want to do it with a passion. Even in the best scenario we are at least curious. This spill right over into how we deal with relationships. If we are interested in someone and they show us too much attention, we don't like them as much. They don't show a lot of attention we begin to question ourselves. Somehow we become intrigued. We probe a little. Consequently, investing more time into them. It's like we are trying to prove that we are at least up to par to any standard you may have. This leads to game playing. "You can't call for 2 days" (despite the fact you are dying to call). Why all of the games? Why do we want the things we can't have? Why are the things we can't have more appealing to us? Is it the challenge?

Blog Scene

I've been checking out blogs and I must say, you all are an interest group of individuals. The relationships, sex, sexuality, life choices, etc. As different as we all appear to be, we all face the same crap. It's comforting to see the struggles and successes of everyone else. It's weird to have one of those, I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT moments with a stranger. I will keep reading and posting.

I'm not tripping on the previous post. I would not put that relationship into the love category. The whole ordeal became worst when I ran into the "why". I guess wires got crossed or something. I was supposed to be gone or they were not suppose to come that soon, but it was a mess. The other person was catty, which I found to be funny. Thus, making everything worse. It was just a mess. Apparently, the person thought my amusement was an insulted and felt like they should whip my ass. The testosterone got thick quick and a little scuffle happen nothing serious. They let the size fool them. Everyone was trying to warn and calm his silly ass down, but some ppl have to learn the hard way.

Why?

I have been kinda blah, introspective, and disappointed. During this time, I have discovered we all have one need, the need to feel good enough. We want to be the child that makes our mothers proud. The one she can brag on at work. We want to be the best employee at our jobs, so our education and experience can be affirmed by the company we work for. We also want to feel good enough to be loved (in the romantic sense). Thought about in the middle of the day. Trusted, cared for, etc.

The love department is where the challenge lies. We go the extra mile to prove that we are good enough. However, I have learned the hard way, being good enough to be loved is unmerited. You really can't earn it. For the most part, parents are proud of their children when they achieve. Jobs usually promote if you consistently perform well, but with the matters of the heart. Your sacrifices, hardwork, and dedication could mean nothing to someone else. There is no graduation to attend. The is no scale for you to be evaluated on. Nothing! When all of your work goes unnoticed or dismissed and the love you thought was exclusively yours is being shared with some other unknow person. You are left to wonder why. Why am I not good enough? Are they that better looking then me? Is the sex better? What do they have over me?

Monica has this song on her upcoming album entitled "Why her". It's been on repeat for sometime. I'm forcing myself not to listen to it now. Check it out http://www.zshare.net/audio/monica-why-her-produced-by-jermaine-dupri-mp3.html