Simple question, but complex answer

What do you do when.....

you get what you fantasized about, but it is nothing like you thought it would be?

You don't know me

Playing~"When the saints go to worship" -Benita Washington

I don't know, maybe, I'm a private person or something, but I really am bashful, coy, and easily embrassed when asked about very personal matters with people I really don't know. My co-workers were on my behind today at the christmas party. They wanted to know the juice. What do you do? Are you single? Are you dating? What is your fantasy? That last question was a bit much. I'm not going to answer this question. One lady tried to ever so slightly encourage a conversation about my sexuality. Now she almost got it, but I decided not to draw more attention to it (everyone or most of them missed that). Some people think I'm elusive, but I disagree. I share what I feel comfortable with and if I don't feel comfortable. I don't share. One lady shared her fantasy and guess what.....her fantasy was shared across four tables. I was like that is why I don't share. I answered all the question except the last one. Nobody believed my answers. They thought I was playing innoncent. REALLY! I'm not doing anything. There has not been any sex and there is none planned. I'm new to the area, so I don't know people to run the streets with. Plus, I don't do that anyway. I'm rather boring....I guess.

Good news! People at my job think very highly of me. Seniors were meeting and I was recommended for a project and I accepted. It came down to me another more season manager and I won. Bad news! I'm still not feeling the profession, so I don't plan to be with them 4 months from now.

Random Thoughts

10 Random thoughts

• Ugly Betty is funny.
• Support the (Red) campaign
• Grey's anatomy is still the best!
• I joined myspace and I don't get the hype .
• Give me your myspace name and I'll add you
• Going to college and getting a terrible job is not good
• I HAVE TO GET A NEW JOB!
• The Democrats are back in power...what are they going to do with it?
• I finally went to a church I enjoyed.
• Why am I single?

Something is not right

Playing "resentment" Jazmin

I don't know what's going on with me, but I'm seeking validation, which is not my style. I'm always the one telling my friends to validate themselves..."forget what everyone else thinks" "You don't need anyone to confirm what you already know". Well, I need to take my own advice. My recent move is making me insecure. Questioning things that always worked. My personality, my looks, etc... by now I would at least met a few friends and had someone express interest. Well, one or two have expressed interest, but they were scary to be honest. One asian lady tries to take me in the bathroom and some guy tried to hint that he wanted to hang out. Part of this is my fault. I don't really go out, but I really don't know where to go. I'm not the most inviting, but I do speak and that scarys people. They stare you up and down, then you speak the look at the floor.

What about your friends

Playing~"Breakdown" Mariah

I don't know what is going on with me and my friends. I have many associates, several friends, and friends we are in my inner circle. My inner circle consists of 3 people. These three people are my no hold bar friends. We can talk about any and everything freely. We don't worry about it being repeated. We don't even say those words. We just know what's up. Well, two of them are in limbo. I've been having this weird feeling that I would grow apart from both of them.

Let's start with the one who joined the fold last. Very strong personality, strategic, feared by some, I respect him highly, and truly enjoy his candid conversation. We have been friends for about 3 years. The negative to this friendship is personality conflict. It's rare, but when it happens. We have only had two real incidents, but several potential nasty incidents. It's potential for us to have a third. Everyone knows I don't play around about my friends, sex, my space, and my beliefs. We'll this friend sent me a picture they sent another associate of ours. The picture was of their penis. I was highly offended. First, what makes you think you can send me this? Second, what the f*ck! Third, you are beyond tacky. I have not communicated to them since receiving that text. Well, I sent a text that said "let's pretend you didn't do that". I have had several calls from him since then, but I don't want to discuss you sending me that mess. He sent me a text saying I wasn't trying to get fresh...trust me. I don't know how much I trust that, because this individual is very strategic, so to just send this it's weird. I noticed a few suggestive things when we hung out last, but overlooked it, because he is so just in your face about everything.

Well, to give justice to his text he was following up a conversation we had. He was telling me that he sent this text to someone else and how it was tacky to do so. I thought it was tacky and brushed it off, but when I thought about it more. I was like, no you were really tacky. That is someone who is under your direction indirectly. I don't care how much they requested and begged to see. It's just a level of distinction you have to about yourself. Inspite of that, what made my friend think they could send me this. I have gotten on him about other ppl doing things like this and I'm like that is not cute at all. Well, there are some exceptions to that, but this is not one of them.

Okay, this was long....so later to talk about the other friends. Blogger has been acting a damn fool.