You're the sh*t!

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.-Psalms 134v14

This scripture came to mind on my way back from Miami (after all of the debauchery I'm thinking about scriptures..lol. I crack myself up). Our friend gets to Miami and is insecure about everything. We kept reaffirming him during the whole trip. Mind you, this friend typically meets someone everywhere we go. Surprisingly and silent I reaffirmed myself after Friday night. We both were blown after the club. We didn't mack anyone out and no one macked us. We both were like wtf?! All these dude here and I didn't meet anyone. We dropped one of our friends off and went back to park lot pimp. We experienced some interaction there and I ran into a blogger (he has certain style about him that I like).

Fast foward to Sunday night. My friend is macking and getting all night. I'm quite impressed! His self-esteem was through the roof. I was delighted that my friend was on such a high. However, I thought to myself this can't be good. Your esteem being based on people is dangerous. Heck, people will have you like an elevator. Taking you up when they want and bringing you down when they want. Then, that scripture came to mind. Why do we allow people to to increase and decrease our value? If God, himself, tells us that we are the SH*t and everything is where it'suppose to be! Who cares what anyone else thinks

No cross, No crown

We all have a cross (metaphorically speaking) to bear. An old hymn came to mind as I was thinking about my life and others. We all have to struggle. Without a battle there is no victory! I can't wait until I see the victory in some areas.

Faith vs. Flesh

"Won't go home without you"-Maroon 5

Trying to mediate your spiritual beliefs and your reality is a challenge we all face. We struggle to give thanks when it appears there is nothing to give thanks for. We struggle to deny ourselves to please a God we’ve never seen. If you don’t…tell me the secret, please!!!! A blogger asked me about my views on homosexuality, because it appeared that I had this strict religious background. I think over the past few months my views have changed quite a bit. Moving here seemed to expedite my point of view on God and Homosexuality. Years ago, I felt it was the worst curse you could receive from God. It’s one thing to deny yourself the things of this world, but it’s another thing for you to deny a piece of you. Since I can recall I’ve had something for boys. I didn’t understand what it was, but I knew it made me different. For a few years, I thought I was “delivered” from it. During those years I can only recalled a few isolated incidents when I felt that thing for boys. I definitely believe in the scripture “according to your faith be it unto you” and at that time I believed I was delivered, so I was. However, I think I always knew it was there. I think I just had starved it so much it was never in the fore front.

Now, I feel like it’s nothing I decided and trust I wouldn’t have chosen this. I’m at peace with it. My spirit is not contrite about the issue anymore. Yes, somedays I have moments of sadness regarding my sexuality and a part of me still feels like me getting my life right means getting rid of boys. I think that’s why I’m not out when it comes to my sexuality. I don’t go to “gay” events and I’m not very responsive when men give me a little extra attention (hhmm..maybe this is why I’m single). There is always that thought of if I ever married a women how would I explain this to her or I wouldn’t want someone to think I’m a hypocrite for talking to men and claiming to love God. Whether me feeling comfortable with me being with men is right or wrong I don’t know. I just know this is where I am and my life the way it is.

Playing~Better that we break"-Maroon 5